you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
