That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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