his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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