Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
