I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
