She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
