I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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