the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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