Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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