We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
