I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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