so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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