so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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