but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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