What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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