please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
