Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
