I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
