GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
