thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
