Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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