A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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