I wish life had little blips of pornography
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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