do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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