you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
