I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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