grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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