clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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