I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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