its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
