i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It's just like the Real World with babies
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize