I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
