He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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