you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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