Having a random hookup so left but love u
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
