he thought i was a dude.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
where are you?
Hypothermia
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize