don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
