that's an acceptable place to lick
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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