How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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