Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
