Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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