I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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