somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize