I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
