the day after is always just damage control
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
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Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
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I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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