i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
