I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
