Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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