Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
