I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
