Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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