your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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