Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
