Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
