Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
