quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The adults are the big ones right?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
