Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
