About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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