so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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