If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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