I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I got inside last night via doggy door
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
